First and foremost: I completely understand that getting triggered, especially when it comes to trauma, can be painful, scary, uncomfortable, and debilitating. Everything I am about to say is to be worked into slowly and safely. Small steps and one trigger at a time. Now, before I go into how our triggers are our teachers, I am going to tell you a story about myself and getting triggered.
I used to hate the word trigger… it was triggering.
Before I stepped into my journey of healing my inner world and all that resided in it, the word trigger used to induce shame in me. I felt so much shame that I had things to be triggered over, because those things that could and would be triggered I had attached shame to.
I resented those things.
I felt they made me less than.
I felt they broke me.
I wanted so badly to be “normal” and I believed, quite frankly, those things ruined me – that they fucked me up.
I will not list them out as I do not wish to trigger you. And if I’m being completely honest, there are still some very deep traumas I still harbor shame around, and as such have not come to share publicly yet. And that’s okay. I have come to share so much of my story because it is my path and my purpose – I am here to help others vibe with their life, and in order to do that it takes inner work and healing and going fucking deep. But that shit ain’t easy and it’s a process. And you better believe it doesn’t happen overnight. Things get healed bit by bit and some are bigger, deeper, darker, and harder to heal… but they can be healed.
You can find freedom from what is triggered within you.
You can find freedom from your pain and traumas.
You can find freedom from your past.
Finding freedom from this does not mean it gets erased from your life or your mind. It doesn’t mean you won’t still get triggered by things. But it does mean you can heal the shame surrounding it. It means it no longer dictates your present or your future; it no longer sits on your shoulders as a weight, but instead is simply a part of your story. It can even become a part of your power.
When I refused to face the fact that I was being triggered – when I shoved it all under the rug or into the dark corner in which it became a poltergeist – I essentially cock blocked myself from healing.
You can’t heal what you won’t look at.
I’d be lying if I said I just magically came to this realization and started facing my shit with the fiery power of dragon breath. No, it took time and it took easing my way into it. When I started seeing others speak up about their traumas, their triggers, and their stories, I realized that all I had shoved in my corner did not make me less of a person and it did not make me broken. Honestly, it made me fucking human.
With that realization I started opening up to myself a little bit more, and slowly but surely I started to get to know myself on a deeper level and began building that ever so important relationship with self. As I started to get more comfortable with myself and my own inner world, I started going deeper and looking at some of the heavier shit – namely the things I was holding intense shame around. But again, I started small – as small as you can when it comes to healing trauma.
Cue your triggers being teachers.
As I began to release the shame around actually being triggered, I opened myself up to learning about my triggers themselves & what was lying underneath, and with that I was able to begin healing the shame surrounding those traumas.
Each time I was triggered I would look at why – what it was that actually triggered me and what was lying underneath it… what trauma was begging to be seen, heard, and healed. And so, my triggers became my teachers.
Your triggers show you what is still unhealed within you, whether it be big or small. Though the size is subjective. What seems small to one person can be massive to another. No matter what it is, when you get triggered, begin practicing meeting it with awareness and curiosity. Again, I understand that there are some traumas that are fucking terrifying to face, so it starts by going easy and working your way into this kind of inner work. Don’t overwhelm yourself right off the bat. If it feels safer to do this kind of work with the help of a therapist/psychologist than please do – there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help or seeking out a medical professional.
A few of my favorite tools that can help to work through this and to understand the effect it has had within you are journaling and talk therapy. It’s huge for me to journal about it because I’m able to get it out of my head and onto the page, where I can work through understanding it. Talk therapy can be done with a medical professional, or even someone you trust. When I get triggered, I open up to Zach (my partner) if I need to go more into it than journaling. Sometimes talking about it out loud, and with another person, can help us to uncover things we may not have otherwise noticed or recognized. Please just make sure the person you discuss it with is okay with talking about it… ask permission as sometimes our triggers can trigger another person without us realizing it.
Moral of all this: getting triggered and having things that you are triggered over does not mean you are broken. It does not mean there is anything inherently wrong with you, and it does not mean you are any less of a person or any less worthy for what you have gone through or faced in your life. Your worth and your enough-ness is not negotiable and it cannot be diminished – that is inherent within you.
Your triggers are there to help you heal if you chose to look at them as teachers, but it begins with accepting that it is okay to be triggered.
You are doing amazing no matter where you are in your journey, and you are already enough.
With love and good vibes,
Ash xx
Please don’t hesitate to send me a message if you would like to talk, my door is always open and I check my messages every single day of the week. You can reach me on Instagram at @vibingwithlife or on Facebook at Ashley Holas. You can also email me at vibinghigherforlife@gmail.com.
